the world is conspiring with me

jukebox : gus gus why

punks n subtle anarchy fuel last weekend's kerouackian adventJah
anarchy in the sg!!
hey ho lets go!!

friday:
nostalgia-fuelled detention at ite simei with beautiful anarchic students
nostalgia-fuelled drive back to me alma mater
good ol' nostalgic beat @ home club
boys boys boys
gnt gnt gnt
sleep sleep sleep

saturday :
love-fuelled 8 course italian lunch
love for angklung
love for youth
love for the sweet art of subtle anarchy

menu @ eperdu's
1. walnut bread n focaccia with antipasta - mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, olives, pine with cheese
2. spicy zesty italian cold salas
3. cold potato salad
4. warm salad - blanched asparagus wrapped with salmon showered with creamy bernaise sauce
5. beef minestrone soup
6. penne with spicy arrabiata beef sauce
7. penne with creamy vongole white sauce
8. tiramisu

mood @ eperdu's
1. sweet conversation with ak boys n gals
2. sweet games with 4a1 blokes n lassies
3. dj lessons with sweet mr tan
4. sweet sweet anarchic persuasion

nostalgic night @ rgs angklung anniversary ensues
dunno the songs so end up playing kompang and jimbey till my fingers hurt
i miss my dikir days!!!!

nostalgic night@ forum with sweet sweet punk boys
p ramlee n kerouac talk
gnt gnts gnts gnts

nostalgic night @ cafe cosmos
tales of karma light n love
gnts gnts gnts

nostalgic night @ portsdown
spiritualized's broken heart calms my manic heart into much-needed sleep
right into noon

woken my the trees' sunshine smile through his window so warm so happy so good
finally curing my usual sunday love ennui
oh my heart is not so full anymore
memories of mr minnitt still fresh sometimes tinge my warm smile with bittersweet
tears on the side when not observed
tears of nostalgia n longing for my love so far far away
snap back to present with good company good music
snap back to present with good nasi padang
snap back to mod punk sunday jalan-jalan with etc and the pinholes
snap back to beautiful indon tales of human rights activism
snap back to beautiful friends telling tales of karma fate and beauty

it's all good
6 month vegetarian plan is on track
1 year creative plan is on track
5 year love plan is on track
10 year rock star plan is on track

....insya-allah.....

moga dengan restu mu, Tuhan, mimpi-mimpiku akan jadi kenyataan
sayang dan senyum selalu

dream.dance.inspire.innovate
peace.love.light.empathy.

love n other indoor sports,
eperdu

ps : 'twas a praying mantis the other night that landed on me head, as opposed to a cursed grasshopper
god telling me that i am eternally his loyal servant?
i hope so , all i ever hope for in life is HIS divine blessing

morrissey christened my easter sunday rebirth of love ennui into waves of unrequitted pleasure

jukebox : darling morrissey's dear god, please help me

this is what i wish he would croon to me :

I am walking through Rome
With my heart on a string
Dear God, please help me

And I am so very tired
Of doing the right thing
Dear God, please help me

There are explosive kegs
Between my legs
Dear God, please help me

Will you follow and know
Know me more than you do
Track me down
And try to win me?

Then he motions to me
With his hand on my knee
Dear God, did this kind of thing happen to you?

Now I'm spreading your legs
With mine in-between
Dear God, if I could I would help you

And now I am walking through Rome
And there is no room to move
But the heart feels free

The heart feels free
The heart feels free
But the heart... feels free

The heart feels free
------------------------------------------
i will put these desires to sleep
i will appease these demons
i will run back to myself
my phoenix shall rise rise
with many rivers and deserts to cross
all to win you win you

love,
raffles' poptart

raison d'etre

jukebox : jack's voice on sweet music waxing lyrical bout banana pancakes(rumbling in me tummy danke mezza9 et evangeline de londres)


i wanna have jack's babies
we will meet lock eyes and fall MADLY in love cos all he will wanna do for the rest of his life is get caught in my magnet tar pit trap and bring sweet babies to my heart shaped box and write sweet lullabies for our children who will only fall asleep to my voice carressing his lush guitars

im a witch scorned off a myriad of unrequitted love affairs and my manic spells will bring any man to his knees

jack jeff james joe the j's that quide my life
some people you know for life
some people you know for a REASON
moi et tim = the glimmer of intellectual leads to good whoopie + his priceless advice
moi et dindin = dejavu of lght streaming through square window + his TRUE love
moi et adik di = poptart
moi et london = path to god
moi et bali = path through god to jeff
moi et james = insight into the english bukowski mind + be strong SISTA be strong
moi et joe = INDO ROCK my destiny n my dream
moi et jack = beautiful babies
moi et jeff = truelove.goodkarma.dejavu.multipleclimaxes

people talkin keep me alive
"shit man guess what we were caught in a mini tsunami"(zul - 26.12.2004 - london/phuket)
"clamedia you?who knows, i had 2 take 2 pills.adios, kiss" (jochem- 18.9.2005 - amsterdam/singapore)
"needed a bit of thrills n spills from a hardcore pusha temptress" (yazay- 01.8.2005 - singapore/singapore)
"jika aku berada di tepi pantai sekarang..akanku tiup belon warna-warni,aku akan terjun ke dalam air pantai yang masin, ku tahannafas di dalamnya seketikadan bangkit terus dengan sebuah senyuman eterniti" (sha-14.7.2005)
"i just woke up. what time do u fly?" (jeff - 24.12.2005- 1439 - bali/singapore)
"kamu juga. sorry i missed you. i left the bar early last night, feeling weak. did you have good holiday?"(jeff-24.12.2005- 1639- bali singapore)
"dinner was good that was your present!hope you have a good 1 and joyce did like her present that was very sweet x " (jeff-26.12.2006 - 1507 bali/singapore)
"my juicy bit misses your juicy bits. happy new year x " (jeff-30.12.2005- 1523 bali/singapore)
"your friends came tonight. sorry i miss them x "(jeff 03.01.2006 - 2047 bali/sg)
"they come back tomorrow at 3 but i not here. tell them to leave here x "(jeff -03.01.2006 21:11 bali/sg)
"are your friends going to my bar at 3? if so, i go there x "(jeff-04.04.2006 12:52 bali/sg)
"i here at 2 mins to 3 and yr friends already leave parcel! Thank you x x "(jeff-04.01.2006 14:01 bali/sg)
"Quality x x x" (jeff-04.01.2006 14:13 bali/sg)
"So i no good? - not full bodied!" (jeff-04.01.2006 19:36 bali/sg)
"L mu no 1 du dunia" (jeff-04.01.2006 20:09 bali/sg)
"saya belum minium. tdk sama jus mu (jeff-05.01.2006 00:28 bali/sg)
"Ma af x"(jeff-05.01.2006 01:00 bali/sg)
"I am enjoying it. Its almost as tasty as ... x " (jeff-07.01.2006 04:25 bali/sg)
"Thank you for your honesty/information.Respect x "(jeff-07.01.2006 13:09 bali/sg)
"Seriously. Thank you for telling me. Many would not bother. x x x " (jeff-07.01.2006 13:17 bali/sg)
"No prob big L. Besok ok x "(jeff-07.01.2006 18:54 bali/sg)
"Babe. Whats the name of .. Guess you had a good night x "(jeff-08.01.2006 16:54 bali/sg)
"You can phone at 8pm or sms x" (jeff-08.01.2006 17:53 bali/sg)
"The sun bit will be easy. Thanks x " (jeff-08.01.2006 20:16 bali/sg)
"Thats wa to me :p"(jeff-08.01.2006 20:21 bali/sg)
"the word is pronounce!" (jeff-08.01.2006 22:08 bali/sg)
"Yes. Expensive for indo but better safe than sorry x "(jeff-11.01.2006 20:35 bali/sg)
"Yes. Big L sounds good x "(jeff-26.01.2006 18:25 bali/sg)
"Tastes., looks smells good"(jeff-26.01.2006 20:54 bali/sg)
"BAd news from michelle I think martin got 30 yr"(jeff-26.01.2006 21:04 bali/sg)
"Bali is quiet, always in Feb. Cc is doing just fine tho. How are you? " (jeff-09.02.2006 18:50 bali/sg)
"Saya baik, apa kabar kamu ? Had yr .. lately?" (jeff-25.02.2006 09:55 bali/sg)
"You need sex.Good sex. Rent a place in ul Uw at u and buy me dinner in jim and i am yours :p (jeff-27.02.2006 20:50 bali/sg)
"You have black book! None like me tho x" (jeff-27.02.2006 22:17 bali/sg)
"Oh lord, I want you NOW!" (jeff-28.02.2006 00:59 bali/sg)
"OK i drunk x " (jeff-28.02.2006 01:05 bali/sg)
"I want you to come and I can promise you a good time but I have to look after my life after you have been. Come please x " (jeff-23.03.2006 02:48 bali/sg)
"I love the idea of you coming. Mid week just makes it difficult. but I try ok x "(jeff-03.03.2006 03:03 bali/sg)
"Please do not change yr mind. I want to see you. (jeff-03.03.2006 04:04 bali/sg)
"You will. Come here. I will give you all the attention I can x x " (jeff-03.03.2006 05:35 bali/sg)
"I want you! So much. Please come x x "(jeff-03.03.2006 06:11 bali/sg)
"Are you still talking to me?" (jeff-03.03.2006 20:17 bali/sg)
"Ok safe journey x "(jeff-11.03.2006 16:58 bali/sg)
"Already home x " (jeff-14.03.2006 00:15 BALI/BALI)
"Me too. Enjoy x " (jeff-16.03.2006 03:08 bali/sg)
"My bed has finally ..... up!Only good memories left x "(jeff-16.03.2006 09:03 bali/sg)
"How are you?Just finished the Di Vinci code, no ref to $100 bills in there!"(jeff-20.03.2006 14:45 bali/sg)
"Thanks for Nyepi greetings. How are you?" (jeff-31.03.2006 16:40 bali/sg)
"Of course not. Big L x "(jeff-31.03.2006 22:19 bali/sg)
"No baby you folded it up and put it in yr bag or purse. . I think x "(jeff-01.04.2006 12:31 bali/sg)
"Good. If I help you have good dreams I am happy x "(jeff-02.04.2006 17:59 bali/sg)
"Yes honey. She here now x "(jeff-02.04.2006 18:53 bali/sg)
"I feel bad. Not good. You were doing me a favour." (jeff-05.04.2006 00:58 bali/sg)
"You are strange girl. But we both know that x "(jeff-05.04.2006 01:57 bali/sg)

we live alone we die alone

love n light,
eperdu

kerouac's IT lives inside me n in my sweetheart's home

jukebox : darlin sweet fm- mr grey, pink n black i love you to bits

the goddess of good karma has hit some bad karma
she lost her sweetheart's 100 bill
her sweetheart couldnt find it in her da vinci code
he inspires her she inspires him
she loves him he likes her
she thinks about him he composes her a message
it's karma it's dejavu it's fate it's impossible it's crazy it's beautiful
this shared love of the beautiful people of the mystical island of silver surf and padi pastures
this shared love of guided chaos, weighted justice, hated love,
it's yin yang it's tit tat, it's amon lisa
it's what you make of it
it's what she believes in so darn much it feeds her soothes her inspires her
it's what he believes in so darn much it suns him, carresses him shakes him
she believes in IT
he believes in IT
she shouts IT off roof tops
she dreams IT everynight

but she fears that IT might be lost
she fears that apathy might win apathy
she fears the march's hot dreams will be quenched by april's cold showers
but she no longer fears for her heart
it is strong n unlaced with envy
but she no longer fears for her head
it is inspired guided by HIM
and she no longer fears the unknown
and she no longer fears the solitude of life without her lovelies
she no longer fears
because her she has found the island of her dreams that strikes all fear away

delicious moments of today have nourished her heart for unknown tomorrows
painful memories of past have prepared her heart for certain heartbreak

"i'd rather die happy"
"we live alone and we die alone"
"i'm too crazy for this island"

i trust my dreams
i trust god
i trust him

i've never felt this way before and i'm glad

love,
eperdu