of sleep and denial

jukebox : broken social scene

morning climb pulls me into this state long missed
familiar fatigue and mind wanderings heart yearning
urged by scenes of camden king's cross and the lot
and sweet cousin's london calling
and sweet jude's hard englishman profile
and mighella's intimate love story
subtle fuzzy lens and that boy his face so sad
breaks my heart
in the way drive back alone sends the familiar feeling
piercing aching through this battered vessel
giving me bad dreams and waking up
yearning like i have not in months
of sweet celluloid escape

does this mind ever learn?
mind that sees subtle coincidences
13/14 seats and unit numbers
underworld in film and in kiosk
mind fathoms these litfle details as signs
magnified into symptoms of ache
when subtlety should just be rejoiced as
reminders of the slow and gradual slipping of life away

can't believe i decided to text him
is the fear gone? replaced by acceptance?
or is it just random subtle?

randomly subtle yours,
jahruac