o these songs these songs

jukebox : clientele's i can't seem to make you mine

oh how apt that jukebox song is, for once
after a long while
on a night so surprising n subtle
started innocently enough
cept for goosepimples during "i'm beautiful"
but the full moon night would soon show me
how such a simple song could move so many so easy and so good

evading indo rock at cash point wondering about jeff
tracy chapman's sorry springing up memories of sec 2 bus rides
gabrielle's rise sweeping me with matthieu's shadow
nora jones with utah man's lingering scent
and finally sinead's nothing compares to u
adding the icing on the cake

o these songs these songs

love
aida

of sleep and denial

jukebox : broken social scene

morning climb pulls me into this state long missed
familiar fatigue and mind wanderings heart yearning
urged by scenes of camden king's cross and the lot
and sweet cousin's london calling
and sweet jude's hard englishman profile
and mighella's intimate love story
subtle fuzzy lens and that boy his face so sad
breaks my heart
in the way drive back alone sends the familiar feeling
piercing aching through this battered vessel
giving me bad dreams and waking up
yearning like i have not in months
of sweet celluloid escape

does this mind ever learn?
mind that sees subtle coincidences
13/14 seats and unit numbers
underworld in film and in kiosk
mind fathoms these litfle details as signs
magnified into symptoms of ache
when subtlety should just be rejoiced as
reminders of the slow and gradual slipping of life away

can't believe i decided to text him
is the fear gone? replaced by acceptance?
or is it just random subtle?

randomly subtle yours,
jahruac

landslide and cycles

juxebox : stevie nicks' landslide


four year cycles
elusive search
rollercoaster days
feel the same as yesteryears

ohhh..i'm ..getting older too....

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, Ive been afraid of changing
cause Ive built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
Im getting older too

So, take this love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe the landslide will bring it down

haunted

jukebox : white shoe's senandung maaf

haunted
for so many years by that dream
haunted
for so many months by that one morning
lose myself in life
to forget the dream
lose myself in dreams
to remember the dream

haunted by him today so many times
number plates even concur
haunted by my past of sickly belly
dodgy toilets do concur

am i crazy to believe in this dream
i ask myself the same question
for the hundredth time

a dream so impossible and elusive
a dream so futile and costly

in the midst of my sanity why these moments of madness
in the midst of my conviction why such deliriousness?
can one be so sure yet so impossibly wrong?

tired of second-guessing myself
tired of playing his guessing game
tired of doing the right things
so tired

love,
zulaikharuac

insomruac

jukebox : american psycho

god is firing me from my world
god is killing me softly
my heart pains without Him
my lungs choke without Him
Oxygen disintegrates without Him

He is my nuclear reaction
He is my chemical equation
he is my kerouac vacation
from a punched drunked love

he is insaning me slowly
i see faces on the road
i sleepdrive on the road
i seek meaning on the road

please kill me now
sacrfice my pain for theirs

love,
ai

insulin headache

jukebox : moz's dear god

you give them face
they just want more
you give them kindness
they just want more

why does this mouth want more
sweetness after a whole day
of getting by without sweetness
just one drop n the insulin begs for more

you give them freedom
they just one more
you give them happiness
they just one more

why does this heart want more
love after a whole life
of getting by without love
just one drop n the insulin begs for more

now my heart is strange

jukebox : furniture's hushthe dead are dreaming

this heart is strange
it wakes pining
devoid yet bursting
its vessels runneth over
with tainted blood
spilled on castaway affairs

this heart is strange
it squirms in fear
of letting blood too much
recoils in apathy

this heart is strange
it is full of this thing called
e.m.p.a.t.h.y.
it cries for the lost voice
of the poor and sad

this heart is strange
it screams for a justness at
wrong times and places
recoils in empathy
it sobs for itself and promises
never to, but only for others deserving
Every Man Please Address Thy Heavy Yearning